January 18, 2011

30 Things Overheard in a Tavern

In an effort to put out some usable content, I figure I’ll give the d30 some love. Yeah, I know, the d12 is the true red-headed step child of the dice world, but Al at Beyond the Black Gate has a lock on that die already.  Besides, we all know how fun the d30 can be....

The next time your party is in a tavern or inn looking for adventure and you're drawing a blank, give your d30 a roll and see what you get.  Hopefully it will serve as an adventure hook or at least a mild chuckle.  (I've opted to provide names for people and places because that is the stuff I myself tend to need to make up on the fly. Adjust to taste.)

 30 Things Overheard in a Tavern

  1. Roper? I don’t even know her!
  2. Black Raker’s Cove has been swallowing up sailors. Methinks something from the deep is hungry!
  3. As sure as I know anything, orcs are ticklish behind their ears.
  4. I'm telling ye, the cemetery walls are hollow!  Back in the old days, they used to entomb criminals in there... alive.
  5. Last week, Jacob of Gutter Lane found some kind of idol or statue underneath that ol' willow tree outside town.  I haven't seen him since.
  6. I'm telling you, Daisy McFran isn't dead! She ran off with that sorceress, Lilly of the Lake.
  7. Francis, listen; this is the truth. The city watch has been paying money to a band of goblins to keep 'em from attacking! The watch ran out of money and is now in debt to the thieves' guild!
  8. Hyperion Ale for everyone!  Except you, Angus.
  9. At midnight, the beets in old Lady Bervert's garden get up and dance around!
  10. [first speaker] By St. Cuthbert, I heard all sorts of strange moaning coming from that old shack on Blackbird Lane.  [second speaker] It's a brothel, you jackass.
  11. That moonshine Old Man Snakebite sells is so strong it drove that poison right out of my system.
  12. I've seen it with my own eyes! Last night, as I was stumbling home, I saw Brother Ardor let a strange lady with dark hair into the temple.
  13. [first speaker] This place serves the best apple pie. I wonder where they find green apples in these parts? [second speaker] Those aren't apples, those are goblin scrotums.
  14. Those weird markings around the town's well?  I heard those were some kind of ward keeping something wicked locked at the bottom. You won't catch me drinking from that, by Cuthbert's Cudgel!
  15. Did you get the coffin I sent you?
  16. Something has moved into the abandoned mill down at Wide Rock Creek... and whatever it is is evil,  I tell you, evil!
  17. Something covered Farmer Wakely's cows with slime. They seem to be all right, but damn if that wasn't odd. I think I'll be getting my milk elsewhere.
  18. [first speaker] You know what's odd? I haven't seen a stray dog in months.[second speaker] I haven't seen any dog in months.
  19. You know that tabby cat that hangs around this tavern?  The other night, when I was coming back from the privy, I saw it change into something! It was a little imp or devil, or some accursed thing! I... I think it saw me....
  20. You're full of horse dung! Rose is a sweet girl. Why would she be eating a dead rat?
  21. Have you ever seen anyone go down to the cellar of this place?  Me neither....
  22. You know, I've never noticed that doorway under the bridge near the south gate before. What's it for?
  23. [first speaker] My sister may be brazen, but she's no strumpet! [second speaker] That's not what I heard.
  24. For some reason, the only chickens Hans will eat are black roosters.
  25. [first speaker] Arthur Willings swears he heard screams coming from the temple cellar.  [second speaker] Arthur Willings hasn't been sober in 10 years! I'm sure he hears all kinds of voices.
  26. [first speaker] I saw Bernhard Stonesmith bring flowers to a lady in the forest.  [second speaker] Oh, was she a cutie? [first speaker] I think she was an ogre.
  27. [first speaker] I don't know what Arnulf feeds his hogs, but they're the biggest pigs in these parts.[second speaker] It must be the same things your wife eats, because she is huge!
  28. That merchant at the end of the bar has a mighty fat purse.  Methinks it needs to be lightened.
  29. Who's that stranger in the corner?
  30. Just one more drink and then we'll go get that vampire!

(#15 was actually a line uttered by Dave's character in my RARE campaign. Sort of a long story....)
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